i have beard burn.

so last night slash morning i work up seriously thirsty so much i didnt think about it i just ran up the steps with my cup to get water asap. so i get up the steps and walk toward the frezzer get ice out and realize i'm outta breath at first thinking hey bitch you just smoke to much weed i walked over to the sink to fill my cup. i started to chug the water still completely out of breath thinking hydrate before breathing realizing that was so wrong i suddenly felt dizzy. i place my elbows on the counter and my head in my hands feeling short breath and my stomach turning wanting to puke....... and then suddenly my hand feels wet, my face starts to ache i open my eyes and see dog food scattered all around me. Soaked i looked around saw a corner and i had no clue where i was all that happened in .3 seconds no lie. Scared i freaked out for 2 seconds before realizing i'm laying in the corner of my kitchen between the sink and the island in the dogs bowl. The water dish is now a hat and i'm laying in a gallon of dog drool and tap water. Dog Chow is covering the floor around me and i'm soaked laying in all this shit. My face is throbbing my hip is soar and i'm like WTF. Realizing i fainted or passed out or died for 4 secs or w/e i had it scared the shit outta me. Its been just about 24 hours in 15 mins and now i'm left with this giant cheek bone covered in black and blue it seriously looks like someone slugged me right in the face. my forehead has a slight raise in it my right cheek is about 2 centimeters higher my hip is tattooed in this beautiful nasty jersey shore water color and my elbow which i didnt realize then, is covered in giant scraps i'm assuming from the roughage thats all around my kitchen from my step dad "finishing it" for the past 7 years. ( no lie.) So i have no clue what happened and it sucks and my body wants a perk 10 and i'm scared to sleep but i had a really good night minus the Bff dramz.