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i still keep tryna write myspace. HELLLOOOO So 5 years ago.

so lets vent about how nothing has been going my way this week.


how all my friends are so incosistent i get a migrain, and most of them think of no one but themselves.

i hate that i see things completely different from everyone else. that i see them in like realization that i dont get emtions tangled up in things. that things to me are honest and not mean things people need to hear and to them they get all butthurt and sad when if that was me i'd take what you said into consideration and either fix it or ignore it not cry and start drama about it.

humans in a whole need to evolve and realize shit. realize things like love is nothing but a chemical feeling produced by a body and humans are actually NOT mono partner creatures. i'm just annoyed with everything in general

here we go.

i didnt wake up untill 4:30pm today. i went to bed around 5. i'm guessing its because the whole bottle of wine i drank last night and today isnt going in any better of any direction. i just poured my first glass within an hour of being awake.

holidays are stupid. specially the ones that revolve around the catholic religion. i dont want to sit and repent from noon to 3 on good friday cause thats when he was hung on the cross, its bad enough you raised me this way. i dont believe i never did i never will why do you think i picked scholastica as my conformation name. the bishop couldnt even pronounce it. and you want to know what the devil is? CC fucking D i dont even know what CCD stand for besides possibly, catholic childrens death. that wasnt funny but i dont feel like thinking.

it baffles me that religion is still widing used today, mostly anything from the christine string of believes. i think in a world today, the world we've made with what we've discovered we should be intelligent enough to realize that the false gods were made to give people something to believe it. to give people a reason for the answers they couldnt explain. rain doesnt come from the man living in the clouds, its a constant cycle you learn in 4th grade. so dont you think by 4th grade you should be smart enough to realize theres no mist hangin out in the stratusphere making your life the way if is? life is made because of what your lazy ass makes of it.


i could rant forever so rather than that. get me outtttta here i'm drank some more of my drank and tell my family lies i feel like making up to keep them amused.

have a happy holiday fuckers.

easter is about candy not jesus.

spin me around and rub my eyes

its the worst when you have ten thousand thoughts
running through your head at the worst times.
the worst times seem to be getting more frequent
considering i have the one same thought tackling
my attention throughout the whole day.

i shouldnt call it a curse, its most certainly not the worst
senerios that could be playing on repeat.
its more located next to my heart stuck between thoughts,
concerns and fears about how the result could turn out.

do you take the chance, the one chance on something you cant explain.
something you havnt felt in a very very long time, and it completely
took you by surprse. knocked you off your high horse and made you realize
that your eyes arent open wide enough, and that one of the best things
that could happen to you is directly in your stream line vision
and for some unknown reason you've been snuffing the whole idea.

how does one put course into action when they dont know what action they should
use and which gameplan they should take one first to get the best result. best
result meaning not the obvious of the answer you wanted, but how about something
along the lines of, if it turns out brutal dont make it mind numbling embarrassing
to the point i dont want to make eye contact for a month.

i havnt been faced with a problem this extravagent in a very long time. and the thing is
its completely simple but in my head its a long winding road with a milliong splinters
winding in and out of dangerous patches of what ifs, coulda woulda shouldas, and deep desires/fears of what the future could bring if.

going with the flow is not a fun game. either is my mind.

why cant i just snap out of who i am in certain situtations and put on normal face for a minute. i'm not a good captain. show me the way.

stupid ass celebrites everyone cares about want ot make blogs that "matter". they matter cause perez hilton puts their fucking stupid gimmie attention bullshit on his sassy pink site. Well listen here. bitches are nothing but hoes and tricks, best friends are nothing but liars looking for the closest big dick, and people you meet only want you cause you can get them grey goose for zip.

fuck ya'll. i'm a rapper.

if perez hilton as taught me one thing, its dont give a fuck what people think about you.

not this time

who knows what to write my mind is so full of memerozation of letters on keypads where you need to press the key so many times for a certain letter that i cant even express how i feel without douple thinking if my grammer and spelling are off. and when you try to perfect englisht thats a problem.

how did society get here?
are we becoming Rome? if i hear that one more time i'll prevent if. gimmie a reason to you all know i'm lazy and i can properly make a difference. lets start a revolution.
lets make suggestions all my friends think this country needs. cause shit wont get started unless we hear the opinions of people who matter.

i just read that half way threw i got sloppy but instead of correcting my self genius proof read it yourself i'ma smoke another bowl. and figure it out while i listen to lady gaga.

life's funny. you know when you want to confront the world with ground breaking self discovery drama, but then 3 hours later when you get home you completely forgot what that drama was about? should that be the over insight for drama? forget whats it about 3 hours later it wont matter? probably but its much more fun to live those 3 hours in he said she said. although, i do not endorse drama.

so. who knows. i wanna maybe smoke a bowl get insightful on you but you have maybe seen an eighth of insightful in those whole almost 2 years of writing to " make my writing career better", which if you haven't noticed i gave up about a year ago because that's money i don't have and I'm way to lazy to give a fuck. call it depression but hey kid, that's life. gulp it down, it happens.

so lets talk about things that don't matter.

rants are my favorite.

i could rant about a lot of built up indemnities that pertain to this certain subject but I'd rather read a book like Prozac nation and rip my eyeballs out of my sockets. I'd rather smoked 50 bowls to my face and bluntly tell you in your eyes i haven't smoked weed in 4 months. truth me told I'm packing one right now. i have half an 0 sitting by my side which is substituting in your place, kinda like faux for fox.
why let the shitty shit get you down, when you know if you dropped what make you down you'd be the best at whatever is presented before you in that dropped box.

Song of the moment: Does this offend you? yeah. - with a heavy heart. i have to pee. this doesn't want to make me pee but i have too.

i hated my life completely like an hour ago, until i got way to high to notice slash care about things that really matter. does this happen every night for a reason, or am i just eluding myself from this completely no fictional fiction i make up for my life until i decide to actually care about affairs that seem to matter to normal people i see on a day to day basis.

just reading over some lyrics I've written in the past couple months you can see slight changes in my personality and its more like hurricanes of emotions of thoughts surrounding what ever night that happened at the moment i wrote it. you could read a month of memoirs and either consider me a physcopath or a genius.

oh life

life life life .

has its ups and its many many downs. right now i cant complain to much. the weather is terrible it feels like a million tiny pin pricks across your face when you step out into that icy tundra we know as south jersey. there are 100 songs on this playlist and it keeps shuffling the same 7. fuck meeeeee.

i work a lot. a lot. a lot. every night, sundays i'm off. its taking over my life and leaving me with multiple migrains. everyone couldnt wait for this expansion to happen and now people are very upset with most of the outcomes resulting in walk outs, firings, and quittings. leading to lots of things being done wrong no order no organization and about 7 new servers who have no fucking clue what they are doing.

boys still suck, or more like i suck at boys.

annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd i need to turn this life around.