Saturday, April 11, 2009

spin me around and rub my eyes

its the worst when you have ten thousand thoughts
running through your head at the worst times.
the worst times seem to be getting more frequent
considering i have the one same thought tackling
my attention throughout the whole day.

i shouldnt call it a curse, its most certainly not the worst
senerios that could be playing on repeat.
its more located next to my heart stuck between thoughts,
concerns and fears about how the result could turn out.

do you take the chance, the one chance on something you cant explain.
something you havnt felt in a very very long time, and it completely
took you by surprse. knocked you off your high horse and made you realize
that your eyes arent open wide enough, and that one of the best things
that could happen to you is directly in your stream line vision
and for some unknown reason you've been snuffing the whole idea.

how does one put course into action when they dont know what action they should
use and which gameplan they should take one first to get the best result. best
result meaning not the obvious of the answer you wanted, but how about something
along the lines of, if it turns out brutal dont make it mind numbling embarrassing
to the point i dont want to make eye contact for a month.

i havnt been faced with a problem this extravagent in a very long time. and the thing is
its completely simple but in my head its a long winding road with a milliong splinters
winding in and out of dangerous patches of what ifs, coulda woulda shouldas, and deep desires/fears of what the future could bring if.

going with the flow is not a fun game. either is my mind.

why cant i just snap out of who i am in certain situtations and put on normal face for a minute. i'm not a good captain. show me the way.

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