miss your voice.

2008

i dont know whats right and whats real anymore
i dont know how i'm meant to feel anymore


isnt it funhy going back to spot of the moment feelings you thought you never come back up again well because they were spur of the moment?
lifes crazy just roll with it was the best piece of advice from the most irresistible asshole i've meat in the past couple months.
2008 is over thank god lets look at a recap

Jan - well i started the new year off with a sprain ankle after falling down some steps in these hooker shoes my mom bought me for christmas and told me to wear. The kid i liked mysteriously disappeared.

Feb - i cut all my hair off. I guess i needed a change.

March - who cares. Hang out with LonestarCait more. Got off Probation.

April - No one still cares. Become more important at work.

May- Went to punta cana, made a couple mistakes but they make you stronger right? "broke up" with my best friend.

June- Got a kiddney infection from a UTI from a kid i thought i really liked b4 my body got fucked up in turn I fucked it up. Grew up. My sister had a baby.

July - Life goes on. Grew up. Crazy pAArting.

August- Murph comes home, summer winds down, Aunt dies. Grew up.

Sept- Get a DWI life is depressing for a while and i gain weight. Grew up. Stopped hanging with Cait. Kris turned 21 started partying my ass off again with a new person.

Oct- My 22nd birthday blows, hate life, Halloween blows. Hung with the BF for the first time in months sad to say shes still the same. My mother tells me i'm the anti christ. Phillies win the world fucking series!!!!!

Nov- Thanksgiving who cares. Become friends with Kerri. Realize Life and how it works for me.

Dec- I'm still alive, how?

stop calling all the girls heartless because most likly it was someone just like you that made them life that. get over it.

if everything happens for a reason tongiht did on purpose. shits insane. then you worry about your social/boy girl life. which also proved to me tonight who i should and shoudlnt waste time on. lifes a bitch pay attention to the clues.

do you think girls are so precautious now and so over thinking everything maybe because all we watch one tv are dramas about our lives. we try to hard to advoid things from hurting peoples feelings and from hurting us and try to hard to be things we arent we over thing ever situation so it doesnt land us in situations we've seen on tv and we are all lost in it all.

i have beard burn.

so last night slash morning i work up seriously thirsty so much i didnt think about it i just ran up the steps with my cup to get water asap. so i get up the steps and walk toward the frezzer get ice out and realize i'm outta breath at first thinking hey bitch you just smoke to much weed i walked over to the sink to fill my cup. i started to chug the water still completely out of breath thinking hydrate before breathing realizing that was so wrong i suddenly felt dizzy. i place my elbows on the counter and my head in my hands feeling short breath and my stomach turning wanting to puke....... and then suddenly my hand feels wet, my face starts to ache i open my eyes and see dog food scattered all around me. Soaked i looked around saw a corner and i had no clue where i was all that happened in .3 seconds no lie. Scared i freaked out for 2 seconds before realizing i'm laying in the corner of my kitchen between the sink and the island in the dogs bowl. The water dish is now a hat and i'm laying in a gallon of dog drool and tap water. Dog Chow is covering the floor around me and i'm soaked laying in all this shit. My face is throbbing my hip is soar and i'm like WTF. Realizing i fainted or passed out or died for 4 secs or w/e i had it scared the shit outta me. Its been just about 24 hours in 15 mins and now i'm left with this giant cheek bone covered in black and blue it seriously looks like someone slugged me right in the face. my forehead has a slight raise in it my right cheek is about 2 centimeters higher my hip is tattooed in this beautiful nasty jersey shore water color and my elbow which i didnt realize then, is covered in giant scraps i'm assuming from the roughage thats all around my kitchen from my step dad "finishing it" for the past 7 years. ( no lie.) So i have no clue what happened and it sucks and my body wants a perk 10 and i'm scared to sleep but i had a really good night minus the Bff dramz.