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i still keep tryna write myspace. HELLLOOOO So 5 years ago.

so lets vent about how nothing has been going my way this week.


how all my friends are so incosistent i get a migrain, and most of them think of no one but themselves.

i hate that i see things completely different from everyone else. that i see them in like realization that i dont get emtions tangled up in things. that things to me are honest and not mean things people need to hear and to them they get all butthurt and sad when if that was me i'd take what you said into consideration and either fix it or ignore it not cry and start drama about it.

humans in a whole need to evolve and realize shit. realize things like love is nothing but a chemical feeling produced by a body and humans are actually NOT mono partner creatures. i'm just annoyed with everything in general

here we go.

i didnt wake up untill 4:30pm today. i went to bed around 5. i'm guessing its because the whole bottle of wine i drank last night and today isnt going in any better of any direction. i just poured my first glass within an hour of being awake.

holidays are stupid. specially the ones that revolve around the catholic religion. i dont want to sit and repent from noon to 3 on good friday cause thats when he was hung on the cross, its bad enough you raised me this way. i dont believe i never did i never will why do you think i picked scholastica as my conformation name. the bishop couldnt even pronounce it. and you want to know what the devil is? CC fucking D i dont even know what CCD stand for besides possibly, catholic childrens death. that wasnt funny but i dont feel like thinking.

it baffles me that religion is still widing used today, mostly anything from the christine string of believes. i think in a world today, the world we've made with what we've discovered we should be intelligent enough to realize that the false gods were made to give people something to believe it. to give people a reason for the answers they couldnt explain. rain doesnt come from the man living in the clouds, its a constant cycle you learn in 4th grade. so dont you think by 4th grade you should be smart enough to realize theres no mist hangin out in the stratusphere making your life the way if is? life is made because of what your lazy ass makes of it.


i could rant forever so rather than that. get me outtttta here i'm drank some more of my drank and tell my family lies i feel like making up to keep them amused.

have a happy holiday fuckers.

easter is about candy not jesus.

spin me around and rub my eyes

its the worst when you have ten thousand thoughts
running through your head at the worst times.
the worst times seem to be getting more frequent
considering i have the one same thought tackling
my attention throughout the whole day.

i shouldnt call it a curse, its most certainly not the worst
senerios that could be playing on repeat.
its more located next to my heart stuck between thoughts,
concerns and fears about how the result could turn out.

do you take the chance, the one chance on something you cant explain.
something you havnt felt in a very very long time, and it completely
took you by surprse. knocked you off your high horse and made you realize
that your eyes arent open wide enough, and that one of the best things
that could happen to you is directly in your stream line vision
and for some unknown reason you've been snuffing the whole idea.

how does one put course into action when they dont know what action they should
use and which gameplan they should take one first to get the best result. best
result meaning not the obvious of the answer you wanted, but how about something
along the lines of, if it turns out brutal dont make it mind numbling embarrassing
to the point i dont want to make eye contact for a month.

i havnt been faced with a problem this extravagent in a very long time. and the thing is
its completely simple but in my head its a long winding road with a milliong splinters
winding in and out of dangerous patches of what ifs, coulda woulda shouldas, and deep desires/fears of what the future could bring if.

going with the flow is not a fun game. either is my mind.

why cant i just snap out of who i am in certain situtations and put on normal face for a minute. i'm not a good captain. show me the way.